Overcoming Shyness on your First Date
January 24, 2008 by bjohnson
Filed under Front Page Set 1, Uncategorized, stop panic attacks
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Overcoming Shyness on your First Date
Stop Panic Attacks By Overcoming Shyness
Even if you are a normally outgoing and extroverted person, you may experience apprehension when going out on the first date. The pressure to live up to unknown expectations can be daunting, especially if you are interested in getting to know the person better, and even more so if you are shy.
Below are some tips that can help you with overcoming shyness on your first date. By overcoming your shyness on the first date, you will allow the real you to shine through, and raise the possibility of going on a second date.
Before the Date
1. Prepare and Over prepare
Preparation for the date cannot be over emphasized! If you are shy by nature, it is essential to prepare so that you are never caught without confidence. Know your own strengths and weaknesses, and avoid getting yourself into situations where you are the most vulnerable.
2. Conversation
If you uncomfortable with making small talk, pick an activity that allows you to avoid talking e.g. watching a movie, or one with a lot of activity e.g. sports or outdoor activities. The key here is to play to your strengths. Have a backup list of topics that you are interested in, or that you think that she will be interested in for those awkward silences.
3. Visualization
Before you pick her up, visualize yourself talking to her with ease. This will help to prepare you for the actual situation, as well as keep you from losing your nerve when you finally meet her. Picture the entire date, from picking her up, to dinner, and sending her home. That way you can ensure that you have covered almost all the possible situations that may occur, and will not get caught by surprise.
4. Dress Right
It is important that your date knows what you will be doing for the evening. Dress appropriately for the occasion, and do not over or under dress as it could end up with either of you feeling bad.
Stop Panic Attacks During the Date
1. Smile!
Practice smiling at yourself before the date. You will find that a smile can work wonders when you’re meeting someone new. It will help set your date at ease, and help you to come across as a friendly and sociable person. In between pauses in conversation, keep a small smile on your lips to show that you are enjoying yourself, or the conversation.
2. Eye contact
Too much eye contact can be intimidating, but too little eye contact can come across as abrasive, uninterested or shy. Even if you are a shy person, try holding her gaze for one to two seconds during conversations. Make sure she knows that you are paying attention to what she is saying and not to the food on your plate.
3. Think Positive
Throughout the date, keep yourself from harboring any negative thoughts. Think confident and you will be able to act confident. Remind yourself that your date is likely just as nervous as you are.
4. Conversation
If you find yourself too tongue tied at the initial stages of the date, ask your date some questions about themselves. What are their hobbies, or what they think of the latest news, are all neutral topics that can get them to open up a little more. Keep the conversation flowing, and make sure not to monopolize the airtime by babbling or rambling on.
If you follow the above guidelines, you should be well-equipped to handle a first date. Perform well enough, and you could be well on your way to a second! Remember to keep thinking positive and confident thoughts, and allow the real you to show through by overcoming your shyness on the first date.
Hopefully this helps you to Stop Panic attack.
Great Tips to Overcome Shyness
January 21, 2008 by bjohnson
Filed under Front Page Set 3, Panic Cure, Uncategorized
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If We Are Going To Live Our Lives While A Cure For Panic Attacks Is Found Then We Need To Overcome Shyness
Great Tips to Overcome Shyness
Shyness is a feeling of low self worth, and will lead to lost opportunities and social connections. More than 50% of adults identify themselves as shy when surveyed, and overcoming this takes time and persistence.
If you have identified yourself as being a shy person, you have already taken the first step towards overcoming this problem. Below are a few great tips to overcome shyness.
1. Identify your Strengths and Weaknesses
This is something that everyone should do, but especially so for shy people. Whilst some people are only shy when they are the focus of all attention, others may feel shy even when meeting new people. Learn to make use of your strengths, and avoid putting yourself in situations where you will feel exposed.
2. Smile, Smile and Smile
Keep smiling so that it becomes second nature to you. Practice smiling in front of the mirror, and at your neighbors, until you are comfortable with yourself. This will help to diffuse any potentially tricky situations when meeting new people if you are shy. Often a smile will work wonders in helping you and the other party to relax, and allows for the conversation to flow from there.
3. Confidence
It is an oxymoron to ask someone who is shy to have greater confidence. However, this is not that difficult to do! Keep in mind that you are not alone in feeling shy; more than 50% of the people in the room are probably just as shy, if not more than, as you are. Think confident and you will look confident. Remember that you may be shy and nervous underneath it all, but so is everyone else in the room, and that will help you to keep your act together.
4. Prepare
If you know that you are shy and that you tend to freeze up in a conversation, prepare for it. Go through a list of topics which you are familiar with, or are comfortable talking about. If it is a social function, come prepared to talk about anything ranging from politics to dogs. If it is a business function, make sure you know all about the different companies and their representatives, or find some common business topic. The key here is to be prepared, so that you will always have something to say or add in to the conversation to keep it flowing and avoid those nasty pauses that can be fatal for shy people.
Although it is possible to overcome being shy, it is difficult to completely eradicate it. After all, even the most confident people have moments where they feel shy. Focus on one aspect of your shy persona and work on overcoming it one step at a time.
I hope this helps until a cure for panic attacks is found.
Teaching your Child Social Skills
January 18, 2008 by bjohnson
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Teaching your Child Social Skills
There are many benefits to having excellent social skills, and it is advisable for you to teach your child social skills. Children learn best from a young age, and long term success in their lives depends more on social skills than their academic strength.
If you find that your child is often ostracized by his peers and unable to interact normally in social situations, you need to step in to teach them how to interact easily with others. This can be done through daily interactions with your child, as they learn by example, imitating how you react to situations. One of the best methods to teach your child is the Social Autopsy method.
This involves sitting down with your child and analyzing what went wrong, and what can be done about it. The key to this method is in helping the child identify the link between their behavior and the end result, and how changing their behavior or actions can lead to a more favourable or preferred outcome for them. Guide your child into being able to independently identify the problem and possible solutions, and how to spot and prevent such problems from occurring again.
Another problem parents commonly face is their inability to discipline the child. This will lead to a child that is uncontrollable, and such behavior will usually result in rejection from their peers. This also makes it difficult for the parent to implement the social autopsy method, as they have little or no control over their child, and are unable to guide them in the right direction.
Often out of frustration, parents may simply avoid the problem or administer punishments that are overly severe. In such cases, you as the parent need to lay down the ground rules in dealing with your child. This will help both of you understand how to interact with each other, especially with regards to disciplinary issues.
Sit down with your child to work out the ground rules, and explain why they are important. These should be clear and well defined, so that there is no ambiguity or confusion. The next step is in working out a rewards and punishment system. Spell out that good behavior warrants rewards, as does misbehavior. There should always be a clear link between the infraction and the punishment. This will teach them that for every action, there is an equal and corresponding reaction.
The next time a disagreement or fight breaks out, such as when there is a need to share or speak uninterrupted, step in to help your child develop the appropriate social skills. This will often involve instilling a sense of self control for your children, and they learn best by watching you, so make sure that you set a good example!
Social Skills Training for Success
January 15, 2008 by bjohnson
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No man is an island, and there is a basic need for us to interact and communicate with others. Having excellent social skills will be able to help you survive the social requirements that we face everyday, from the casual, to family and business situations.
Most people face barriers when placed in a social situation, and are unable to interact effectively or with confidence. This is where social skills training comes into the picture, helping you to make the most of these situations to form interpersonal relationships.
What are some of the biggest obstacles that most people face? By understanding yourself better, you will be able to actively overcome the obstacles that you face. The most common factors that prohibit your social skills are a lack of self confidence and the fear of being judged and found wanting by others. By following the tips below you will find yourself better able to widen your social circles and improve on your relationships with others.
1. Develop Self Confidence
If you find your knees knocking together when called upon to address a group of people, you are likely to be lacking in self-confidence. In order to improve on your confidence, you need to take small steps to overcome this fear by speaking to people you don’t know. Try smiling and saying a quick “hi” to your neighbors on your way to work, or the person in line behind you when you pick up your coffee. Eliminate negative thoughts about yourself, and look confident. Dress well and you should find that it gives you an added confidence boost to speak to strangers.
2. Be a good Conversationalist
Most people keep silent in group discussions as they feel inadequate on the subject on hand, or fear rejection of their ideas. This goes beyond confidence, and depends on your preparation. Broaden your horizon, read the papers everyday, and take an interest in current affairs. This will increase your ability to contribute your opinion regarding the topic at hand. Listen actively to the conversation flow around you, so that you will not be caught repeating what has already been expressed. It will also make you better able to add to the conversation by volunteering new perspectives and opinions.
3. Tone and Body Language
Less than 10% of actual communication is based on what you say. This leaves over 90% of communication to the tone of your voice and your body language. Are you crossing your arms in front of you as you listen? Is your foot tapping away as someone else speaks? All these are signs that you are not listening, or impatiently waiting for the speaker to be done. Try to curb yourself from displaying such body language, and replace them with signs that you are paying attention, such as nodding your head when the speaker makes a point you agree with. This will help you to engage your company to listen when it’s your turn to speak.
The development of social skills is crucial to your personal development, whether on a personal or professional level. By paying attention and improving on these 3 aspects, you will find yourself no longer dreading attending social functions.
Benefits of Developing Social Skills
January 11, 2008 by bjohnson
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Benefits of Developing Social Skills
Stop Panic Attack by developing Social Skills – A Real Panic Cure
Do you find yourself always hovering on the outskirts of a discussion? If you want to quite being a wallflower and participate in the conversation, you need to brush up on your social skills. There are many benefits of developing social skills, and you will find yourself a more confident person.
If you feel insecure or nervous when speaking to a crowd, or even starting a conversation with someone new, you are not alone. Many individuals are highly successful in their careers, and yet are unable to do something as simple as saying “hi” to someone new. Developing your social skills will help you to display greater self assurance, think positive thoughts amongst other benefits.
1. Widen your Social Circles
By developing your social skills, you will open up more opportunities to develop interpersonal relationships and widen your social circles. Being able to hold a decent conversation and make others feel at ease in your presence is an important skill. With time, you will find your confidence increasing, and you will attract other people around you with your sense of assurance and enthusiasm.
2. Understand Others
Through interacting with more individuals, you will enhance your ability to adapt and read different characters. This will help you to communicate your ideas more effectively, or to phrase things in a way that others can comprehend easily. Being able to see different perspectives will also help you to resolve conflict or diffuse tense situations.
3. Improved Quality of Life
When you limit your social network, you are also limiting your professional and social opportunities. By improving your social skills, you will see an improvement in the quality of your life. This is especially evident in your career, as your superiors and peers will be able to see your potential for management.
4. Flexibility and Positive Thinking
You will find yourself well equipped to conquer your fears of being at social functions, and communicating with others at a level of ease. You will find yourself slowly eliminating negative behaviors and building up your positive ones, and you will never need worry about a life of loneliness any more.
More people are recognizing the importance of social skills, and the many advantages that it brings. When you take steps to improve your social skills, you will find yourself marveling at how much your life and self confidence has improved.
Causes of Social Phobia
January 1, 2008 by bjohnson
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Social phobia is a form of anxiety disorder, where the individual suffers from an intense and irrational fear, causing a feeling of fear. People who are troubled with social phobia usually have a hard time keeping a steady job and interacting with the people around them. They also tend to be very sensitive and self conscious, and are afraid of being judged by others.
Often, the individual is aware that this fear is irrational, but is powerless to stop the emotions. It is not so much the public’s scrutiny that causes them discomfort, but their own interpretation and negative thoughts of themselves. They find it difficult to focus, and experience blushing, excessive sweating or tunnel vision.
There are many root causes of social phobia, such as a previous embarrassing experience, genetic reasons, or psychological factors. Social phobia if not treated, can degenerate into social disorders and panic attacks. Only by understanding the root cause of the social phobia can you take steps towards treating and eliminating it.
1. Previous Experiences
For individuals who have experienced traumatic moments, they may feel such intense humiliation or embarrassment.
2. Genetic or Hereditary
Social phobias may also be hereditary, and you are more likely to develop it if someone from your family suffers from it.
3. Extension of shyness
For children who are very shy, social phobia may be an extension of this as they did not have the opportunity to learn social skills and the ability to relate and communicate with others confidently.
4. Stress
This occurs when individuals experience high levels of stress in their environment, be it family, work or social life. This can be seen as the straw that broke the camel’s back, when a single event can tip the balance and cause the individual to spiral into social phobia. Often, the trigger event can be something small and insignificant.
5. Social Modeling
Children who grow up in environments where their parents or peers behavior tend to be shy and introverted may end up with social phobia due to the process of observational learning. They pick up the traits and behaviors from the individuals around them, and are influenced by their environment, thus developing social phobia.
There are many causes of social phobia, such as low self esteem and a tendency to suffer from depression, and research to determine the causes of social phobia is still ongoing. Those who suffer from this condition often develop a deep fear of experiencing the panic attacks again and this can lead to a diminished sense of self confidence.
It is important that individuals are able to recognize that they suffer from social phobias, and not simply a case of shyness. This will enable them to actively seek treatment, instead of living a life of fear, wondering when the next attack will occur.

